Mary Calvert Truxtun Lalli

Mary Calvert Truxtun Lalli, aka “Mimi,” “Contrary Mary,” “The General,” and “The Lady from Mattapoisett,” died on Friday, October 30th at St. Luke’s Hospital. After putting up a valiant fight against the cruel disease of Alzheimer’s, she said goodbye on her own terms. Her beloved family was by her side as the sun was setting and the clouds reflected her favorite salmon-pink color. Mother Nature helped make this moment beautiful, and for that we are grateful. 

Mary was born in Plainfield, New Jersey in 1942 to Margery “Peggy” Truxtun and Lieutenant Colonel Thomas Truxtun, who was killed in action during World War II in 1945. Following Peggy’s remarriage in 1946, Mary was raised by Holmes Dyer. Her grandparents, Mimi and Baba, played a special role in her life and she cherished her childhood years spending time with them. “Tutta La Famiglia” was one of her favorite expressions and she was profoundly devoted to her family. Mary was predeceased by her much-loved son, Andrew, in 2022, whom she fiercely advocated for and fought alongside throughout his lifetime. Surviving relatives include her daughter Louise Burbank and son-in-law Tim; her siblings Julie Neal, Tim Dyer, Nancy Mitton, and C.C. Dyer; her beloved grandchildren Will and Sam and Jewels and Peter; and her great-grandchildren Dax and Sofia. “Mimi” was fortunate enough to hold Sofia as a newborn three weeks before she left us—a true blessing. She also leaves behind her dear cousin, Ty Fox; numerous nieces and nephews; and former husband, Peter Lalli, whom she would never admit influenced her love of cooking with garlic. 

Mary was a family icon, a force with no equal, and a strong, independent woman who never minced her words. Her ability to overcome challenges and chart her own course was remarkable. She often shared words of wisdom and strongly believed in “The Four Agreements” of Toltec wisdom, particularly  “Always Do Your Best.” She held herself to high standards in everything she did—as a master gardener, gourmet cook and caterer, exceptional athlete, fine art collector, EMT, quahogger, and scrap metal and recycling queen. She was a true Yankee who lived simply and loved a good yard sale.

MTL definitely left her mark on Planet Earth and there’s no escaping the energy she leaves behind, still circulating all around us. Look for her in the flowers, trees, ocean, changing seasons, and especially in the smiles and laughter of her family and friends as they share cherished moments of time spent in her company.

The Family would like to extend their heartfelt thanks to the Comfort Care team of nurses, hospice workers, and doctors at St. Luke’s Hospital. They went above and beyond to ensure that Mary’s final moments were peaceful and dignified.

As we write these words about the one and only MTL, we can almost hear her saying, “Cut the crap, go have some fun, and I’ll keep you posted.”  

A private Celebration of Life will take place this summer in her beautiful seaside garden in Mattapoisett—a Wampanoag word meaning “a place of rest.”